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She is…LITERALLY…the Polaroid of perfection. I may have watched this movie one too many times as a kid. However, I realize now as an adult watching it again (THANK YOU NETFLIX (because I won’t admit that I own it)), that it does have some “mad decent” lessons about dating that we’ve only begun to cover as a society. These were good lessons that kids should have learned then, but should definitely learn now.

1. Respect yourself, but respect others!

Cher does say, “Not to be a traitor to my entire generation or whatever” before talking about how the guy’s lack of effort made them so unattractive. Now, anyone who listens to our show knows that I don’t care about my appearance, however, if I am told that something I am wearing or doing looks like I “just rolled out of bed” then I correct that. I make myself presentable to society.

2. Use respectful language

There’s an awesome line that Murry says that went over my head as a kid, “Excuse me Miss Dionne. OK, but street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but are not necessarily misogynistic undertone.” DUDE!? WHAT!? I had no idea what that meant as a kid. Then I grew up and learned what some of those key words meant and was impressed. It also made me realize two things that were key. A. I had been using some words that were offensive (calling things “gay” or “retarded”) and B. If someone is being offensive, speak up, but if someone says you’re being offensive, clarify your meaning and apologize.

3. Some people need make overs, some need sprucing up.

Though it seemed like small adjustments, THIS woman was helped by a little touch up. The same thing would happen to me years later when we had a few make over shows and Marcy Guevara and Val Tapia helped tweak my style and my outlook a bit and made me someone presentable to my now wife.

4. Common interests are KEY

So, Travis was a stoner/skateboarder who probably wasn’t going to Harvard. However, his game was strong. He was able to spark up a conversation with the girl next to him by complimenting her artwork on her notebook and then discussing art… OK THEIR version of “art”. This was is impressive to me! The guy just makes her laugh using the common surroundings and OH, you drew something? Let me compliment you on it and act as thought it’s the most impressive thing in the world. Hey, maybe it was! Maybe he was high? Maybe he just wanted the girl to feel noticed and appreciated. It’s not a bad feeling to give someone.

5. Signals are VERY important. Pay attention!

Travis likes Tai, but she’s told to go after Elton

Tai likes Elton, but he likes Cher

Cher likes Christian, but Christian likes guys.

There are obviously not as clear an indicator in real life as there are in the movies, but sometimes they are not so subtle. She’s washing her hair, or doesn’t like pizza or whatever the excuse may be. You need to know when to cut bait. It’s hard though, to know when to say when. It’s difficult to see when you should be giving up and when you should be putting in more effort in an attempt to win them over. However, as long as you’re being respectful of them and yourself, you should realize that it’s not worth the embarrassment at some point and move on.

6. NO MEANS NO!!!!

So we’re all supposed to gloss over the fact that Elton probably became a rapist? Come on man! Puts up a picture in his locker because Cher took it…meh, I can see where you thought that was romantic. “Accidentally” losing at suck & blow? I get what you were trying to do, a bit too far unless you know she’s into you, but you’re probably arrogant like that. “Me and Tai…we don’t make any sense. Me and you? Makes sense.” I know it may be a bridge too far to suggest some sort of “master race” type plan here, but I can’t help but wonder what if the question posed to him was, “You and Dionne?’ I have my suspicions that even after he reminded you AGAIN who his father is, he would say she…didn’t make sense. Then let’s go on to the part that was glossed over way too easily in the movie. He keeps going after Cher says no. Then, when she won’t do as he says, HE DRIVES OFF! Like the anti knight. Like a dick in the wind. Like the pretator I’m afraid he went out to be that night. He apparently isn’t used to hearing “No”. You think a guy like that just goes off into the night and goes home? I would just look into his involvement into any missing persons reported the day after the party. It freaks me out when he’s with Amber later. I bet if you wrote this entire movie over, from his perspective. it would be a horror movie.

These are just a few lessons I picked up from a movie I watched as a kid. Maybe it’s because of this movie and some like it that I became a decent human being. And if you see it on Netflix where it recommends it because I gave it 5 stars or I recently watched it, just know, that was probably someone I know using my account without permission. Now, can I be excused? I think I left my Cranberries CD in the quad. I gotta go get it before someone steals it.

BONUS LESSON: Nationalities are important to some people, be considerate.