I understand there’s such a thing as “Peacocking” this means that you try to look as “unique” and “interesting” as possible from afar so that you can attract the opposite sex. The problem is that some people take it too far. Now most of my posts have been about the ladies, but fellas do this too. I have seen some crazy ass people with zippers installed in their hair, crazy pictures or words shaved into their head and corn rows that spell out their name (like the tattoo on your back wasn’t enough). People take it TOO far! This is not a black thing or a woman’s thing, this is an ignorant thing.

I know a few women who think that this will help them get a man. That men love it and talk to them “all the time” about their hair. I have to agree with them. Men talk to them all the time. Either it’s the guy who’s asking, “What’s up Toucan Sam!?” or the guy who knows this girl’s self esteem is so tied up in her hair, or the chemicals have gotten to her brain, that she will sleep with anybody. They know that if a girl just spent $200 to get her hair colored like a pack of skittles then she obviously doesn’t make good decisions, “So why can’t I be one more?”

This wouldn’t bother me that much because as TJ Tallie says, “Do you.” The problem is when their kid is crying and hungry because mom spent her money on crazy hair. You should also know ladies that the man that comes by for this hair is the same guy who isn’t there three month’s later and apparently DJ Swang wasn’t his real name. The saddest part about all of this is when I see these ladies who have obviously spent too much time and money on hair that doesn’t make her look any more beautiful and I see that baby bump. People in general know they shouldn’t smoke or drink while pregnant, but I have found a whole lot of people who still get their “hair did cuz I gots to look cute.”

The part that scares me is I rarely see these women in a workplace. I mean, of course I see the occasional Walmart employee, but where are the others? Is there some call center somewhere so they don’t have to face the public? And if there is, what do the headsets look like that don’t catch this crazy hair? Look, this is one of the few ghetto things that i have been guilty of myself, believe me when I tell you there is a reason my Quinceanera pictures aren’t out there for everyone to see. There is also a purple faze I don’t think my hair will ever recover from. I learned from it though, it’s like cutting your own bangs; Seems like a good idea, until you look in the mirror. So please, a natural hair color change is fine and can be fun, but if you actually model your hair after a packet of something worth 85 cents, then maybe that’s how much you’re worth.

I never like to give out relationship advice, but sometimes the same concepts apply when you are trying to push your entertainment career. You need to treat every fan, every executive, every hater as you would someone you have or potentially could have a relationship with.

1. Be hungry, but don’t be thirsty.

I got an email from someone who wanted to come on my show to promote their music. Then I got a friend request. Then I got a text. Fine you covered all your basis. Now wait for a response. I know, having worked with many “thirsty” people before that I shouldn’t accept the friend request without at least responding to the email or text. If I do, it shows I have time to be on Facebook but not answer emails, etc. That’s actually a lesson learned from exes saying, “How come you liked my post but you didn’t answer my text? You just are on Facebook all day, but don’t care about me.” I do care, and I care about the people I do business with as well. It just means that I haven’t had the time to write out a well thought out response. It could mean I’m waiting on someone else to confirm so I can send you some available dates and not double book.

So I waited a few days, then had an idea of the response I had available and emailed this person. Then I went and accepted the friend request shortly after. Right away I got a Facebook message asking to connect further. Don’t be that person. It’s ok to be on top of things, but know the fine line between initiative and annoying.

2. Follow the social media/communication flow chart.

Oh you don’t have a copy? Here you go.

The point is, when you meet someone for the first time, or even if you’ve met them already, but have just begun to talk about doing some sort of business together – Send them an Email. It doesn’t matter if you have their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Snapchat, Voxer, or Phone Number. Facebook, Twitter, Text, Phone Calls are not the place to introduce ideas or specifics about a project. If, after emailing, the person tells you specifically to call or text them, do so. If the person sends YOU a facebook message or tweet, feel free to respond. Otherwise, initiating business ideas via social media is a bad look and bad idea. If you do not have their email, use the social media to strictly get their email. They may be curious why you are asking for their email address, so give them a summary of what your intent is (Ex. “I wanted to talk to you about coming on to the show, could I get your email address to send you some information about us and some available dates.”) Brief, precise, and non-invasive.

3. Be attentive.

Know what people are saying about you and your career. Keep your ears to the streets so to speak. Just like you and your partner share moments of “I love it when you do this” or “Honey, you know I don’t like that”. Know exactly what it is people are saying about you. Check your stats on which songs are getting more plays. Check hashtags. Wait, you haven’t made a hashtag for each song? A hashtag branding your style? People may not always tag you and your band. They may not even hashtag you either. Check friends pages you know are fans every once in awhile. You’d be surprised to see if they are talking about your music genuinely without tagging you. This is great. If they aren’t talking about you. Then do something to get people talking about you.

4. Last more than 2 minutes.

Once you begun conversations with people or fans, don’t just RT, favorite, like, message and email them that week. Follow up in a non-invasive way. Like some of their posts. Put out new content at least weekly. Be it a short shout out video, new song, new gig, new band picture. If you don’t keep content flowing people forget. If you seriously have been so busy and have nothing to put out, start commenting on some of your fans’ stuff, like their pictures. Show a common interest and bond with your fan base. Music is a two way street. If a Billboard #1 song is played in a forest with no one around to hear it, is it still a hit?

5. Disconnect your ex.

There will be haters. Delete degrading comments and block consistently negative people. If someone keeps booing you at a gig and starts throwing stuff on stage, you would have security escort them out right? Do the same online. Pay attention to constructive criticism that your fans give you or the ocassional, “Why are you playing there, I don’t like that place?” These people deserve an honest answer and shouldn’t be ignored. But someone who always hates on your music or pictures and etc.. get them out of the digital club. This includes people who were fans but may have moved on. Drop your ex.

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Look ladies, leggings are comfortable I get it. they’re thin, they come in every color so it goes with every outfit and they perfectly hug your body. The problem comes when all of your cellulite, panties, pussy lips and even pads are showing up through your leggings from across the room. Everyday I see ratchets bending over to pick up their purse or their kids and the sun shows the moon. Black doesn’t help.

I mean sure, I probably won’t see the craters cellulite and nature have left on you over time, but I will see that white thong under those black leggings. I have to wonder, did you not look at these pants in the sunlight before you put them on? Maybe you saw them in a store, brought them home and put them on in your room while it was still dark and you were getting ready. Remember, these hug every part of you, so you KNOW they’re going to show too much, even in black. As a matter of fact, I don’t care what color you buy, camel toe shows up.

There are somethings you just need to keep private. Maybe not for you, but for the rest of us trying to eat our breakfast but have to see you have clam on the menu. That can’t be comfortable. You have your leggings and panties (hopefully) pulled all the way into your pussy? Unless you get off on that. If you do, I don’t, stop it. The multi-color design with clouds, unicorns, the cosmos or nature can’t hide the beaver if you did not bother to see if these fit you in the first place.

Yes, leggings can have a thinning effect, but bitch, just because you bought a size small doesn’t mean you ARE a size small. These big girls wearing them and getting mad when someone is just trying to help them out. “I’m thick! I love when men look at me!” They’re looking at you because your tan leggings look like you wore nothing and they’re surprised you haven’t been arrested.

There is a right way to wear these ladies. Trust me, stiletto Nike’s are never good, squared off long nails are not ok, but leggings don’t need to be thrown out just because we all saw your asshole the last time you bent over (true story)! All you have to do is wear a longer shirt. I know, for some of you this is difficult. There are only so many X’s they can put before that L until they just stop making your size. But if you can’t find a shirt that fits, you must quit…wearing that shit. Leggings let us wear shirts, dresses or skirts that show off our legs and that can be a great thing! But if you’re showing off the Disney Princess panties at work, you need to go. Bye, Felicia!