Buying A New Bed
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Wussification
Let’s be clear on this. When we talk about the “wussification” of society, we’re not talking about gender roles or social restrictions or prejudices of any kind. We’re much too simple for that. We’re talking about over all loss of basic skills or behaviors that we have seen over the past few years that we disagree with. There are many things that both men and women should be able to do or should be doing to just show standard respect for others. It has nothing to do with an individual or their rights or archaic traditions we want to hold because we’re somehow conservative. What we want is for society to function at a level where most people can take care of themselves. And, as far as the rest of this article is concerned, this is just ERNIE talking.
Auto repair has traditionally been done by men, but there is no reason for that. I loved having my niece help to change a tire. When the time comes for a kid to start learning about driving, I want them to know basic things that most people (shockingly) don’t know. iF you find yourself reading this and realizing you don’t know these things either, educate yourself. Otherwise, you are part of the problem.
You should know how to check your fluids. Now it’s become clear to me that most people my age rely on the car to tell you when the fluid is running low. However, you should also be able to tell when the fluid is bad. For example, do you know what it means when you see rainbow swirls in your radiator fluid? Do you know if it should all be anti-freeze or if water is OK? Should oil be black or brown? What does it mean when there are little granules in your fluids? What should your tire pressure be? Is it the same fore every car? Can you change a tire? Can you change your oil. I don’t care how cheap that coupon is for Jiffy Lube. You should be able to change the oil if needed. At the bare minimum, you should be able to put in fluids if needed. You should know how to check if fluids are needed.
Finances, here is a topic that effects EVERYONE. Yet some people don’t know what their APR is on any of their 5 credit cards. They have no idea what they’re spending on. They are taking vacations and asking for money from their friends. I know, because I have BEEN that friend to lend money. Do it a couple times and I excuse it, do it every month and you have a problem. I do hate it when I see friends going to concerts then complaining that their car is always breaking down. I am not saying you need to buy a benz, or even that you can’t have fun, but if you’re SOL every month and need repairs, don’t post a “woe is me” status on facebook. #Fucked
Cooking previously was considered feminine. That’s stupid! What, only women eat? I don’t care if you’re into the opposite sex, same sex or any variation. If you’re trying to impress someone, make them a meal. I’ve known a few guys who have won a girl’s heart with a simple plate of steak, salad and Mac & Cheese. It doesn’t even have to be good either. Pre-made salad, Mac & Cheese from the box (no milk, double butter) and steak on a grill. Unless they’re a vegetarian, you’re winning with that. Hell, most of those things have a vegan/vegetarian version anyway. Hopefully, you know what they like. And don’t even do it for someone else. You will feel GREAT cooking a meal for yourself! You feel accomplished or at least challenged. The point is, you’re fed and YOU did it, not Taco Bell.
Cleaning. No seriously. CLEANING! Yes, this is something i have found peers (I use the term loosely) have had problems with. Laundry/dishes/bathrooms. If I go to your house and I see that you didn’t clean behind the toilet…in years! Or that the fork I’m using still has dried egg, I’m judging. I have friends who let it pile up because mommy will do the laundry and the maid is coming next Wednesday. This is sad. How far will we let this go? Will it be a value of generations past to wipe your own ass?!
These all seem very personal. This effects you, why do I care? What allows me to judge if you don’t know any of these things or choose not to learn them? It effects me because when your car pops a tire and you hit another car, or when you are asking for money, or when your fat ass is the reason insurance rates go up or you’re just a smelly asshole. It effects me. That’s my time, money or space you’re wasting. You’re hurting all of us. The community. Not just your little group, or you as the individual who wants their participation trophy and a cookie for trying. IT’S EVERYBODY!
I Can’t Be Superman
There was a long stretch of my life where I wanted to be Superman. I wanted to be the guy every single person could count on. I had to be; to a fault. I had friends who told me that this was a bad thing. They noticed how I helped everyone and those people would go back to their loved ones and be happy. I could fix things. I did it. I became Superman.
I was the guy that people came to, called out to, sought, in their time of need. I was always the guy who would fix the problem. I always had the solution. There would be a girl I liked, who needed a ride or someone to fix her car and I would do it. She’d thank me, and go to her guy and say what a hero I was. I even had a few of those guys jealous. Even my own friends would get jealous. My guy friends would seek my help for themselves, but if I helped their girl, I was muscling in. I did this for years.
One day, at work, I met a girl who was having a tough time. She was in a terrible relationship and didn’t feel like she deserved much better. She thought the guy who was verbal abusive, neglectful and manipulative, was the guy she deserved. She didn’t have the highest self esteem. As a matter of fact, it was this idea of mine that made her finally open her eyes. I told her, “You know, who you date, reflects what you think about yourself.” I thought she could do better. Being that I was still stuck as Superman, I didn’t think I was the guy for her, but someone was.
She talked to me, opened up to me, sought my help, but stayed where she was. It was less scary than trying to find someone else to love her. She slipped up and the guy found out about me. About Superman trying to save her. He tore her away from me. It was as I expected my life to be. I acted like Superman, and she went back to the guy. I kept flying around saving people. I wondered what happened to her. I had an idea that she had kids and was as happy as she was going to allow herself to be.
One day, she came back into my life. She found me! She gave me her number and we started dating right away. There were still problems in her life. She was still letting people hurt her. However, now…now she had Superman by her side. I help her and she helps me. I save her, I protect her, I love her, I married her. Now I realize that in marrying her, I was admitting I was wrong. I wasn’t destined to be Superman. Flying around, saving people and having them return to their other half. No, instead, I was HER superhero. Just hers. I save her, she saves me and we live happily ever after.






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