Look ladies, leggings are comfortable I get it. they’re thin, they come in every color so it goes with every outfit and they perfectly hug your body. The problem comes when all of your cellulite, panties, pussy lips and even pads are showing up through your leggings from across the room. Everyday I see ratchets bending over to pick up their purse or their kids and the sun shows the moon. Black doesn’t help.

I mean sure, I probably won’t see the craters cellulite and nature have left on you over time, but I will see that white thong under those black leggings. I have to wonder, did you not look at these pants in the sunlight before you put them on? Maybe you saw them in a store, brought them home and put them on in your room while it was still dark and you were getting ready. Remember, these hug every part of you, so you KNOW they’re going to show too much, even in black. As a matter of fact, I don’t care what color you buy, camel toe shows up.

There are somethings you just need to keep private. Maybe not for you, but for the rest of us trying to eat our breakfast but have to see you have clam on the menu. That can’t be comfortable. You have your leggings and panties (hopefully) pulled all the way into your pussy? Unless you get off on that. If you do, I don’t, stop it. The multi-color design with clouds, unicorns, the cosmos or nature can’t hide the beaver if you did not bother to see if these fit you in the first place.

Yes, leggings can have a thinning effect, but bitch, just because you bought a size small doesn’t mean you ARE a size small. These big girls wearing them and getting mad when someone is just trying to help them out. “I’m thick! I love when men look at me!” They’re looking at you because your tan leggings look like you wore nothing and they’re surprised you haven’t been arrested.

There is a right way to wear these ladies. Trust me, stiletto Nike’s are never good, squared off long nails are not ok, but leggings don’t need to be thrown out just because we all saw your asshole the last time you bent over (true story)! All you have to do is wear a longer shirt. I know, for some of you this is difficult. There are only so many X’s they can put before that L until they just stop making your size. But if you can’t find a shirt that fits, you must quit…wearing that shit. Leggings let us wear shirts, dresses or skirts that show off our legs and that can be a great thing! But if you’re showing off the Disney Princess panties at work, you need to go. Bye, Felicia!

Wearing heels feels great! Your ass looks good, it accents your outfit and you feel so tall! It’s also great if you don’t have to get on your toes to kiss your partner >_<. Wearing sneakers also feels great. I love wearing my chucks around. They're comfy, easy to clean and come in so many colors. The problem comes when you can't wear your sneakers to a club or a nice dinner but wearing your heels on a walk to the park is a little too much. Ratchets have come up with a solution. Put them both together! These bitches think that putting a heel on their Nike high tops makes it acceptable to go to a club, wedding or job interview (granted, that job is probably at Payless). And no bitches, just because it's a stiletto heel instead of a wedge does not make it cute. Oh and in case you're wondering, if you wear them at church with your leggings on and a low cut top...You ratchet.