Ugly Toes

My toes are ugly. I never really thought this to be too much of an issue. Sure, I’m diabetic and my extremities are the first to go, especially my feet, when it comes to amputation, but still. I tried for a long time to keep them trim, but as I got older and fatter it became more and more difficult to reach. Now they’re all discolored and gross. I should probably see a doctor about them instead of just trying to fix it myself.

I learned on some website long ago that if you cover your toes with Vicks they will heal. No, I don’t just think this because I’m Mexican, I really did hear it somewhere. The theory is that either the eucalyptus heals or the petroleum jelly cuts off the air supply. Either way I’m telling you, it works! I did it for a while and I was able to get my toes to a decent condition. I just wanted them healed enough to where I wouldn’t get embarrassed when I went to get a pedicure.

There’s a stigma that’s hard to overcome with pedicures and manicures that it’s feminine. I don’t get my nails painted or my legs waxed, though there’s nothing wrong with that, I just get a cut. It’s like going to a barber shop instead I don’t give ANY instructions. It feels great afterward too if you go to a place that massages your feet too or clears up any calluses. Once I started getting my nails done every other week, they started looking healthy AND the pain I had from an ingrown toenail was gone. Then, I stopped making the time.

I got a girlfriend and it’s not her fault, but I was spending all my time with her instead of choosing to either take some time out to get this done (like a hair cut) or take her with me (like I should have done really). Though, it’s like I said, there’ s a stigma to getting your nails done. Really the person it benefits the most though? HER! I realized the other day while trying to get them back to their faded glory that I cannot have sex with my girlfriend in reverse cowgirl. I basically have two options; 1) Wear socks while we have sex and no one wants that. I’m not a fan, but for some girls it’s a hell NO. 2) Have my gross toes in her line of sight when she’s riding the bull. I can’t do that to her. Hell, I can’t do that to ME! It’s too embarrassing. So for now, we’ll stick to more traditional positions and I’ll be puttin on the Vicks, for her, and for me.