Dating Your Music

I never like to give out relationship advice, but sometimes the same concepts apply when you are trying to push your entertainment career. You need to treat every fan, every executive, every hater as you would someone you have or potentially could have a relationship with.

1. Be hungry, but don’t be thirsty.

I got an email from someone who wanted to come on my show to promote their music. Then I got a friend request. Then I got a text. Fine you covered all your basis. Now wait for a response. I know, having worked with many “thirsty” people before that I shouldn’t accept the friend request without at least responding to the email or text. If I do, it shows I have time to be on Facebook but not answer emails, etc. That’s actually a lesson learned from exes saying, “How come you liked my post but you didn’t answer my text? You just are on Facebook all day, but don’t care about me.” I do care, and I care about the people I do business with as well. It just means that I haven’t had the time to write out a well thought out response. It could mean I’m waiting on someone else to confirm so I can send you some available dates and not double book.

So I waited a few days, then had an idea of the response I had available and emailed this person. Then I went and accepted the friend request shortly after. Right away I got a Facebook message asking to connect further. Don’t be that person. It’s ok to be on top of things, but know the fine line between initiative and annoying.

2. Follow the social media/communication flow chart.

Oh you don’t have a copy? Here you go.

The point is, when you meet someone for the first time, or even if you’ve met them already, but have just begun to talk about doing some sort of business together – Send them an Email. It doesn’t matter if you have their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Snapchat, Voxer, or Phone Number. Facebook, Twitter, Text, Phone Calls are not the place to introduce ideas or specifics about a project. If, after emailing, the person tells you specifically to call or text them, do so. If the person sends YOU a facebook message or tweet, feel free to respond. Otherwise, initiating business ideas via social media is a bad look and bad idea. If you do not have their email, use the social media to strictly get their email. They may be curious why you are asking for their email address, so give them a summary of what your intent is (Ex. “I wanted to talk to you about coming on to the show, could I get your email address to send you some information about us and some available dates.”) Brief, precise, and non-invasive.

3. Be attentive.

Know what people are saying about you and your career. Keep your ears to the streets so to speak. Just like you and your partner share moments of “I love it when you do this” or “Honey, you know I don’t like that”. Know exactly what it is people are saying about you. Check your stats on which songs are getting more plays. Check hashtags. Wait, you haven’t made a hashtag for each song? A hashtag branding your style? People may not always tag you and your band. They may not even hashtag you either. Check friends pages you know are fans every once in awhile. You’d be surprised to see if they are talking about your music genuinely without tagging you. This is great. If they aren’t talking about you. Then do something to get people talking about you.

4. Last more than 2 minutes.

Once you begun conversations with people or fans, don’t just RT, favorite, like, message and email them that week. Follow up in a non-invasive way. Like some of their posts. Put out new content at least weekly. Be it a short shout out video, new song, new gig, new band picture. If you don’t keep content flowing people forget. If you seriously have been so busy and have nothing to put out, start commenting on some of your fans’ stuff, like their pictures. Show a common interest and bond with your fan base. Music is a two way street. If a Billboard #1 song is played in a forest with no one around to hear it, is it still a hit?

5. Disconnect your ex.

There will be haters. Delete degrading comments and block consistently negative people. If someone keeps booing you at a gig and starts throwing stuff on stage, you would have security escort them out right? Do the same online. Pay attention to constructive criticism that your fans give you or the ocassional, “Why are you playing there, I don’t like that place?” These people deserve an honest answer and shouldn’t be ignored. But someone who always hates on your music or pictures and etc.. get them out of the digital club. This includes people who were fans but may have moved on. Drop your ex.