Ratchet Wedding

This week ERNIE was gone from the show because I asked him to go to my family’s wedding. I didn’t realize how bad they were until he quietly (as quietly as he can be I guess) pointed it out. There were tons of cowboy outfits with so many rhinestones it looked like someone was always using the flash on their phone. I didn’t think they were that bad…most of them at least. Ernie of course had to point out each giant belt buckle, pair of Jordans and lack of tie. I just HAD to prove to him that this was just our tradition. Even though it’s bad, it’s not as bad as it could have been.

Look, I understand wearing a suit. I know that ladies should wear dresses to a wedding. I don’t mind a bolo tie and a belt as long as their flannel shirt is tucked in. That’s the thing though, if you are going to wear something a bit more comfortable, there is a limit. The saddest part is the people with the untucked shirts weren’t family members, they were waiters. To be fair to the rest of the guys, that was the nicest outfit they owned. I have a lot of family from Texas and that’s what they are used to. I know it also depends on the wedding and family, well my family are Mexicans.

The ladies surprised me the most. I wondered how you were going to go to a formal event and wear sandals, thinking no one would notice. When you lifted your dress as you walked upstairs, we noticed. When you wore a white bra with a red dress that didn’t cover your straps, we noticed. And guys, when you wore white socks with your black dress shoes and black pants, we noticed…when you sat down. I understand not wanting to spend money, I didn’t, on nails and hair, but do SOMETHING with it. A ponytail and nails with chips aren’t the business.

It’s not that hard: A dress, nails done right and a hair appointment are all you need to look like you belong. And for you fellas, if you don’t won a suit, a T shirt won’t do. Own a suit, be an adult.