Now, if you’re like Jesse and don’t like to hear me talk about my relationship, leave now. I mean, don’t LEAVE, leave. You know, just click the link like 40 times, then leave it open for a few minutes. I have to make sure I support my husband, just like he supports me.

I come from a very traditional household. My mom wasn’t educated on beauty tips. When it comes to our family’s culture, it seems like the lesson is, “Someone told you once that this looks good on you. Now wear it for the next 20 years.” I can’t even put all the blame on my mom either. I did it too!! I wore my hair in layers for years because that’s how they cut it at my aunt’s salon. I wore eye liner the same way for years, because that’s what we did in high school. I never used foundation, because no one ever told me to use it. My mom will buy the same colors every time she runs out because someone told her it looked good once. And SOMEONE I know even dyes their hair years after they should have let it fade in to a color Ernie likes to call, “shoe polish black”. Hair color so unnatural the only people who pretend to believe it are the other ladies with the fake out-of-the-box-I-found-on-the-discount-rack colors.

This changed recently when Ernie had enough. Not that he wanted me to cake on the makeup or even that he thought there was a problem. He just wanted me to feel pretty. The way I felt about my looks before was, “oh well, this is what I have.” And now that I look back, I feel bad that I wasted that much time thinking that. Now, I am not saying I think Beyonce has to take lessons from me, I’m just saying that I can do different things and feel better about the way I look. Ernie started by asking why I put on eye liner that way. He was confused when I said, “I dunno, this is how we always did it.” He then took me to his friend (and guest on the show) Val and she showed me how to make it look like my eyes are open sometimes when I smile.

It’s funny how different this little change made in me. I honestly wanted to be in more pictures. I always liked taking pictures, but I never wanted to be IN the picture. Now, much to Ernie’s disappointment, I was taking selfies and getting proof that we were at every museum and waterfront. It was one black line taken OFF my face, but it was HUGE.

Then came the makeup. He said he liked that I didn’t wear too much, and asked why I chose that. I felt bad telling him that I just didn’t know how to use the other stuff. I felt like he would judge me and that I would seem less like a girl. He took me to a store and they helped me pick out make up. I didn’t want to spend the money, but he had me look in the mirror and asked me, “Does it make you feel better? Then we’ll take it!” Now, I don’t use it every day, but on a special occasion, or if I am just breaking out and don’t want the world to see, I will take out the foundation. I even started looking up how to videos and I honestly got excited to use this stuff.

Most recently, it was my hair. Despite what he says, I know he was just tired of hearing me complain. Though, I may have been complaining about my hair for as long as we have been together… I just didn’t know what to do!! I knew I didn’t like it, but I knew I didn’t have the money to go anywhere but the place that did a horrible job. He made me an appointment and took me and now I can run a brush though it. Now, this may seem like something small to you guys who made it through all this or you ladies that have normal hair, but this was HUGE!

I think what struck me the most about this whole experience is that he didn’t do it because he thought I needed it, and I wasn’t asking for it. He didn’t even mention once how I looked different with the make up, hair and eyes he could now see when he made me smile. The only thing he kept asking me, “How does it make you feel?” I feel pretty. I feel good. I feel loved.