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I want to eat healthy. I really do, but it is SO DAMN DIFFICULT!! There are so many factors that need to come together for you to be able to eat healthy. You need time, money and resources I do not have. I don’t think most people have them. I think that eating healthy is harder than people make it seem. I think it’s great that JESSE eats healthy, good for him. I just wish I could eat healthy too.

First thing you need is time. You need to be able to go to get the groceries and this means, working during the day. The problem with working night shifts is also the best part about it. I used to work 20 miles from home, but at 11PM on a weekday, you don’t really hit any traffic. You’re also too sleepy in the morning to be able to go to the store and make healthy choices.

Having the ability to make healthy choices is another obstacle. You have to have the options for foods. There are a lot of people who grew up where I did who have no idea what Quinoa is and have never seen a dragon fruit outside of a pack of gum. It’s a sad state, but there are more fast food outlets open 24 hours by my house than grocery stores open past 9. Then again, I don’t live anywhere near what you would call a rich neighborhood.

I am poor. I have about enough money to pay my student loans and bills while living with my parents. Not to mention my car breaking down every few months and trying to plan a wedding. How am I supposed to decide that the organic bananas are “worth it”? Why would I ever pick something that will cost more, but make my salad taste awesome, when ranch is cheap?

I want to eat healthy; I want to do better, but when it comes to choosing between my student loan and driving 20 miles out of my way to go to a store where I feel out of place and reminds me of my ignorance all to try and be a little healthier when I watch Netflix, I will probably not make that choice.

I want to go on a double date, but how is that different from what we do now? We go out from time to time to hang out with ERNIE’s friends, but we’ve never really had a “double date”. I remember hearing about it in movies and TV shows, but I don’t really know what that’s all about. We have gone to dinner with friends and we have gone to the movies or karaoke, but what makes it a double date?

I think I had this idea in my head that it would be something that grown ups did. I saw people going to nice dinners or bowling and somehow that seems different from what we do. We go to dinners, but no one wants to pay too much. We go to do stuff, but I can’t quite figure out why it’s different. It could all be THAT simple. It’s just the presentation. When you’re in a nice dress and the guys are suited up, it feels different. I maybe don’t have to take it THAT far, but I know it definitely doesn’t feel like a double date at Norms.

Don’t get me wrong, we do stuff. We go out with our friends and go hiking, kayaking, to museums etc. There is just something about connecting with another couple and talking about relationships that makes me feel great. I guess part of it is like ERNIE says, we just want to know we’re not crazy. We want to know that other couples go through the same frustrations that we do. That there are the same jokes, the same smiles, the same arguments, the same anything. And of course, every once in a while…it doesn’t hurt to dress up when you do it!

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This week the guys were in the studios with just guys. And while that may be a fantasy for some women, it is nice to get away once in a while. I love Ernie, but he makes sure we each get our own time. I realize now why that’s important. I grew up with parents who were very old school. Mom and Dad always had to be together. If she didn’t go somewhere, he probably wouldn’t either. There were times he went out of the house, but it was usually to take us somewhere. Lately, Ernie has been taking my brother and I out every once in a while and my parents are home alone. Either just the two of them, or just the one.

Ernie told me early on that it was good for them. I worried at first, or figured they would just go to sleep, but he reminded me that they were once a young couple in love and married. Then they had kids and never got a moment alone again. They work hard, they sleep and they get up the next day to do it again. I do think they should do some things for themselves. It becomes hard when you’ve got a family to remember that you’re two people in love and choosing to be together. Instead you act like two business partners, making sure the bills are paid, the money is coming in, the workers are doing their jobs and the supplies are in stock. I like that he tries to make my parents make time for each other. He points out when his parents are just sitting talking and laughing together and says he hopes we have that some day too. I do too.

I know my parents need some time to themselves too. Some time to just do what you want to do for you, even if that just means taking a nap and using up the whole bed. I wish I could do so much more for them. I wish I could get my mom to a spa or get my dad to play sports again, but it just isn’t very likely. The best thing I can do for now is clean the house, clear it of all people and give them suggestions, or buy them tickets to something. My parents have always been very important to me. I appreciate what they’ve done for me and I hope that I can learn from them to have my own alone time.

I have been in relationships in the past where friends weren’t really an option. I couldn’t have any guy friends without the suspicion of cheating coming around. Then stuff like that would upset my female friends and they wouldn’t want me to be with that person, who then wouldn’t want me hanging with the girls. I didn’t like clubbing or anything like that, and I was happy with my family, so I never really bothered to think about it. Then when I started dating ERNIE, I met all these really cool people and they wanted to talk and hang out. Suddenly I found I had my own friends. I mean, sure, I met them through him, but they’re my friends too. I didn’t want ERNIE to think he couldn’t hang out with his friends, and now I can hang out with my own friends. We have time to ourselves. I miss him, of course, but it is also a great feeling when I can talk to some people I can relate to and who feel the same things as me, not just understand them. It is definitely true what ERNIE says, “Girls just want to know they’re not crazy.”