@calipsothegreat :: #bestMommentOfMyLife finally accepting that I’m not perfect and never will be
@JulieRasmussen :: I didn’t want a hangover, but I suuuure spent a lot of money to get one. #Vodka
@JulieRasmussen :: I am not cranky, I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.
@JulieRasmussen :: When life gives Lady Gaga lemons, she makes a dress out of them.
@JulieRasmussen :: IRS.gov just invited me to play Formville.
@JulieRasmussen :: Every time I see an abandoned shoe on the highway it makes me sad that I’ve never partied that hard.
@jesseFdaniels :: Welcome to the future where Cures are Expected not wished for, Information is Gold, and Thoughts exist only in 140 characters or less #Enjoy
@spybite :: worst pick up line yet: “Girl I want to be like Asthma and take your breath away.”
@ILWUGRL28 :: Today was a very productive day…totally awesome!! Like the 80s!
@vtp9 :: believes too many people have “cranial-rectitis” at work. google it.
@TimJustTyped :: Imagine being a bounce castle proprietor who defaults on his mortgage and must live in his bounce castle. Imagine how awesome that would be.
@jesseFdaniels :: Just read thru 6 hours of tweets..I’m tired now.. #RateThatTweet (but I still wanna know what was tweeted before those… #ModernDayDilemma)
@MitchDeGuzman :: It bothers me that @KimKardashian & @justinbieber have just as much followers as @BarackObama and the @DalaiLama has way less. #dumbsociety
@EL_AY :: Is gasoline serious right now! Almost $5 a gallon? Foreals tho, I’m about to cut a hole on the bottom of my car and Flintstones that shit
@TuckerMax :: To Women: We don’t give a fuck about your shoes. We care about your body. Go to the gym, not the mall. From: All straight men
@terminill :: You don’t have ten thousand followers cause youre insightful. You have a picture of your tits or your ass on your avatar.
@djfrankdizzle :: If you don’t know, now you know.. Shut your mouth and walk your bike!
@payback321 :: “If real recognize real, then I know you see your hustle in me.” ~ Payback
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