@madshrinkage :: The only way I would watch the royal wedding is if I knew King Koopa was going to kidnap the princess.

@Team_Silva :: Check out the #CincoDeMayo show of http://ErnieandJesse.com Guaranteed #EPIC awesomeness Have fun @MEanErnie @jesseFdaniels @PaulineChris

@jesseFdaniels :: Ahh the #TwitterBadlands :: The time btwn the last “OMG How did I get home!” & the first “OMG Its such a beautiful day!” #RateThatTweet

@MEanErnie :: Hey #assholeswhohashtagfartoomanywordsinonetweet #cutthatshitout it’s #annoying trying 2 #decipher your #stupidity #RateThatMotherEffinTweet

@vtp9 :: If calling me a slut helps you accept that your man is stairing at my titts not yours. Your welcome https://ERNIEandJESSE.com #Ratethattweet

@OhMyKarina :: RT “@skumbagskan: Charlie Sheen is only winning because my nigga Chuck Norris isn’t playing.”

@madshrinkage :: After several years I finally have cable again. I can’t wait to watch some music videos on MTV.

@JulieRasmussen :: Lmao @ the dude in line in front of me buying condoms, and getting his credit card declined. You just got cock blocked by Visa!

@FuckUrTimeline :: What could mayonnaise possibly tweet about? Is it gonna start a twitter beef with miracle whip? Slander the fuck out of mustard? wtf?

@vtp9 :: Well officer. On the advice of my attorney, I’m going to have to plead the 5th on EXACTLY what I did for this Klondike Bar. #Ratethattweet

@ChueyMartinez :: On a Scale from 1-10 How Drunk will you get on Cinco de Mayo? @SandraPena @WestSideGyrl @electrolightz @solaresmusic – http://sch.mp/Eq6pnfm

Have a tweet to rate? Have you read a funny, hilarious, or stupid tweet by a friend or celebrity?? Leave a comment with the tweet and we could rate it on the next episode!!!

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@vtp9 :: Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

@JFreshReed :: No job, no girlfriend, new @MK_MortalKombat game, and episode of #ERNIEandJESSE.com… didnt get anything done today #ratethattweet

@Team_Silva :: Was in line, and there was a married couple taking wedding shots at #TitosTacos http://t.co/CWap89y

@JulieRasmussen :: The Tooth Fairy teaches us to sell our body parts for money.

@JulieRasmussen :: When people ask me if I’m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with my pen & ask if they’re hurting hard or hardly hurting..

@FuckUrTimeline :: Lemme get 2 grey gooses. Wait. Lemme get 2 grey geese. That ain’t right either. Fuck it. Just get me a flock of vodka.

@heathernicol89 :: Dear blue jean company, i’m very aware that i am short. Must you remind me by putting “petite” on labels? screw you, Heather #RateThatTweet

@spybite :: HAKUNA MATATA, it means no worries for the rest of ur days…

@ClintonSparks :: What are u suppose to dream about if your dreams come true?? #ilovemylife

@cheekydrena :: It actually hurt to admit how old I was today…. Is 23 too old to start lying about your age?

@beautiifulkb24 :: I swear I HATE snakes… But I Frikin LOVE THE #BLACKMAMBA 

@wendycarrillo :: OMFG!!! WHY?!!! #AC360 had first on-camera intvw w/frmr Hawaii Health Dir who saw orig #Obama birth cert. http://on.cnn.com/hkUDYS

@votolatino :: Did you know that 30% of American #latinos live in #poverty? #truestory, join #VLchat today 4pm pst w/ @greenforall for more info #LATISM

@PaulyPeligroso :: Taco Bell meat is the Russian spy of foods. Because it’s not what you think it is and, once it’s on the inside, its goal is to murder you.

@estherjcepeda :: @wendycarrillo @latinopolitics yes, that’s still the US govt’s official terminology as well as the AP style, which the WaPo goes by.

Have a tweet to rate? Have you read a funny, hilarious, or stupid tweet by a friend or celebrity?? Leave a comment with the tweet and we could rate it on the next episode!!!

@Team_Silva :: Shoutout to the podcast crew, have a great show. Check them out at http://ErnieandJesse.com & #iTunes

@TedStryker :: Dear Stryker,YOU LEFT UR TWITTER account OPEN again.It’s getting harder & harder to resist f**king with you, BUT, I won’t. Love, @Nicole1067

@JulieRasmussen :: Today marks my 5 year anniversary of I don’t give a sh*t…

@jesseFdaniels :: Oh, and in case u didn’t know… It’s Friday!!! #JUSTincase #RateThatMotherEffinTweet !!!

@PaulineChris :: @jesseFdaniels & @djfrankdizzle I’m glad u two loved my last Tweet about the smack with the extra k’s. Is this going to be a #RATETHATTWEET

@PaulineChris :: #FRANKSLAP = ROOMMATE. Bitch go to sleep!!! *SMACKKKKKKKKKKKKK* http://ERNIEANDJESSE.COM

@heathernicol89 :: “There are.only two reasons to date a girl you have already dated. Breast. implants.”-Barney Stinson #Ratethattweet WWW.ErnieandJesse.com

@spybite :: Let’s add a picture to me LEMONADE tweet. http://plixi.com/p/92200436

@MEanErnie :: @spybite you have earned an unfollow. 15 tweets within an hour (at least)? Not on my timeline #RateThatTweet #onblast http://t.co/VXSjaFe

@spybite :: Kanye..singing…

@spybite :: MUFASA!

@spybite :: mamasay mamamsay ….

@spybite :: ma ma cu sa.

@spybite :: Ima sing this to my momma on mothers day.

@vtp9 :: Don’t walk in front of me, I might not follow Don’t walk behind me, I might not lead. Walk beside me, & share your coffee or let me sleep…

@nessavanessaa :: ever have one of those days where your middle finger answers E V E R Y T H I N G? (:

@MikeSchism :: You know what’s funny? paintings of adam & eve where they both have belly buttons. think about that, take as much time as you need

@ThePushParty :: So this naked girl just fell on the floor as she was climbing into my bed. 5 second rule?

@jesseFdaniels :: I want to pull the Fire Alarm so bad each time I walk by it… #justcuz (almost) #IllegalTweet

@Sanchez1st :: #IWouldTrade my BlackBerry for a iPhone.

@cheekydrena :: Arkansas is the home of the mullet people. Its all “business in front, party in back”. #fact #insanetravelog #needsleep. #toomuchcaffiene

@KruellaInRed :: Sometimes I wish life was like a DVR, So I can pause for a second…. Did that really just happen?

@DamnItsTrue :: Rock, Paper, Scissors is the absolute solution to fair decision. #DamnItsTrue

@djfrankdizzle :: How convenient that the coupon for Visine expires on 4-20 lol http://plixi.com/p/93836386

Have a tweet to rate? Have you read a funny, hilarious, or stupid tweet by a friend or celebrity?? Leave a comment with the tweet and we could rate it on the next episode!!!